Thoughts of Tuesday

This is why I don't clean. If you could see what I'm looking at right now, you'd know what I mean. I spent most the day Sunday cleaning the living room and kitchen. It's like a bomb went off in both rooms already. I hate having a dirty house, but what I hate even more is spending hours cleaning only to have it messed up again in 15 minutes. I find it's much easier if it just remains messy and gets messier. That way I'm just frustrated instead of pissed off. So there it is.

Our sewer line is almost done. That's good. But it also means my dreams of new flooring for my living room have become a distant memory. At least I got my new door. And who knows, maybe once I get the living room all painted and get a slipcover for the couch, perhaps the carpet won't stick out so bad. I doubt it, but who knows. It'll help if I can get all the clutter cleared out. I don't know how I do it. I'm like a pack rat. I think I need to remove all horizontal surfaces from my home because they seem to be clutter magnets. Of course, then everything would just end up on the floor. Hmm.

I seem to have hit a wall with my weight loss. I did really great two weeks ago. I pretty much lost a pound a day, but I haven't lost any weight since then though. And even though I keep stepping it up everyday, my stomach seems to be getting bigger instead of smaller. That's really frustrating. I was actually starting to feel kind of good about my body image, but now the spare tire around my midriff seems to be accumulating more air instead of flattening. It's frustrating. I stopped keeping track of my food intake, but I haven't changed anything I eat. Wait a sec... I just remembered something. I bought a pack of oreos at the grocery store this weekend. That's probably what did it. I never buy pre-packaged goodies, because I have no self control with sweets. I think I also need to add more variation to my workout. I'm not trying to get to supermodel status or anything, I just don't want to have a muffin top when I sit down. I hate that. Maybe if Miguel ever gets back to work I can re-dedicate myself to being vegan. That's one thing that's really bothered me. I was so dedicated to being vegan and I felt so great while doing it, but then I let money get in the way. Now I don't even try. It's not like I no longer believe in the cause. It bothers me that I know how destructive it is to the environment and obviously to the animals it is to eat meat and other animal products, yet I do it anyway because it's cheap and I'm lazy with cooking. I hate that I just abandoned my cause because it wasn't convenient or economical. I really want to get back to it some day. And the sooner the better.

Well, I guess that's it for tonight. I have to get everything ready for tomorrow. Early day tomorrow. Yuckie. I hate mornings.