So how DID court go?

As most of you know, I had divorce court set for Tuesday. I got there about 20 minutes early, just as my lawyer showed up. I called her in the style of Miguel (that is to say over, and over and over again) all morning on Monday since I hadn't talked to her in weeks and I was worried that we weren't going to have all our crap together and the judge would make us come back later. Anyway, I finally got a hold of her, and we got everything worked out and she didn't see any reason why I coudln't get divorced on Tuesday.

So, back to the court house. When we showed up, our name wasn't on the judge's list. Apparently a high profile murder trial was set for that day and someone must have decided that it was more important than my little divorce and knocked us off the list. But, seeing as how Miguel had signed a Rule 11, which clearly stated how things would be divided and had signed a waiver of citation, the judge said he'd just sign the divorce and didn't need to meet with us. I was a little bummed out because I'd brought my bloated file of proof that Miguel's crazy and I wanted to present it to him to make sure that he wouldn't require me to let Miguel know where I live. But my lawyer didn't put my address anywhere in the divorce decree, so should be good.

So, what I was thinking would take hours only took about 30 minutes. We followed the Rule 11 agreement, so the house is going on the market. If Miguel really wants to keep the house, then he can buy it. We'll split the profit 50/50, except that Miguel's half of the community debt will be deducted from his half if he hasn't paid it by then (which he won't).

I was also a little let down because I couldn't say for sure that i was divorced. I was told the judge would sign it, but I didn't have the signed document in hand, so I didn't really know for sure. I went to the house and worked on he flooring a bit. I worked on it all day Saturday and finished everything but the last two rows of planks. I did one more row and then drove around a bit before going to my weekly counseling session. I then picked up the girls and we went to the apartment. Shane came over after work and we had a nice, low-key evening. To my surprise, Miguel never called or bothered me. Well, that wouldn't last long.

On Wednesday morning, I had to get to work early to help move some shrimp and catch up on work from me being gone Tuesday afternoon. I knew I was going to have a busy afternoon, so I put my phone on vibrate and tucked it away in a desk drawer. Well, Miguel started obsessively calling my cell as soon as I got to work. When I didn't answer, he called my work phone. He wanted to know what happened in court. I didn't say much, especially since I wasn't totally sure that the divorce had been finalized by the judge. Plus, I don't think it's my job to let him know what happened. If he was worried about it, he should have appeared or sent someone to appear for him. So I briefly filled him in and told him that I had to get back to work (which I did. I had a VERY busy day ahead of me). He called work again. I told Dr. Samocha to let him know that I was busy and could not talk to him. I went back to work. The next time I came into the lab, Dr. Samocha told me that he'd called several times and that someone named "Shay?" had called. Yeah, Miguel tried to pass himself off as Shane. I texted Shane to see if he'd tried to call me at work. His reply was this "no, it was Miguel." Which let me know that Miguel had been calling him again. Miguel continued to harass Dr. Samocha and tried to tell him it was an emergency and challenged the importance of Shrimp research with his own "emergency." This continued all morning. At lunch, I decided to give him a call since I had a chance to talk and was hoping that if I talked to him, maybe he'd stop calling my work number. Between that time, I had called the court house and found out that my divorce had indeed been signed.

I tried to call Shane before I called him to see what had been going on. He had changed his number. That gave me a pretty good idea as to how his morning had been going. I called Miguel and asked what his emergency was. He said, "oh, I had an emergency. It's ok now." So I again asked what his emergency was. "I had to use the restroom." Really Miguel??? How freaking old are you? He has the maturity level of a 3 year old. I remember when his sons were visiting last summer noting that they acted more mature than him. Well, nothing's changed. In fact, he repeatedly compares himself to Chloe, and I have to remind him that Chloe's THREE. He's over 30 years old. Grow up.

Anyway, the conversation did not go well. He was upset because the house was going to be sold and because he's responsible for paying the mortgage until it sells. He kept telling me that I had to pay half. I told him that I couldn't. So then he said I should have my "boyfriend" pay for my bills. I told him I don't have a boyfriend (at that point, Shane and I were still spending time together on occasion, but we haven't been "dating" since a few weeks ago when his ex threatened to take away his visitation rights). I don't even remember what else we argued about. I eventually hung up on him and went to eat my lunch and check my e-mail. When I checked my yahoo address, I had a short note from Shane informing me that he'd changed his number and that he needed time, but more than likely he was "done." So that didn't make my day go any better. Obviously Miguel had been harassing him and he could no longer take it.

Oh, and one thing that he was upset about and couldn't understand was the injunction I had added. He cannot come within 250 feet of where I live and where I work without the express purpose of picking up or dropping off the girls for his visitation. So then he asked where I live, and I told him I'm not comfortable with him knowing that information, and he decided that the reason I wouldn't tell him was because I was living with my "boyfriend." And it doesn't matter what I tell him, because he won't believe me if it doesn't fit his idea of what is true. He decides these things and takes them as gospel even though there's no truth to them whatsoever. If I told him that I was living with Shane, he'd believe me. But if I tell him the truth, which is that I have my own apartment, and I'm doing everything I can to stop being so codependent by paying my own bills and taking care of myself and the girls without relying on other people, then he won't believe me. There's no winning.

So I guess the summation is that the divorce has been signed. However, Miguel still has 30 days to protest, so I'm not totally in the clear yet. Shane has finally decided being with me and the girls isn't worth putting up with Miguel's shit. I can't blame him, but it still totally sucks. We've actually decided to slow things down or stop seeing eachother several other times due to Miguel drama or his ex's drama, and it's never stuck, but I think it will this time. I didn't take it well, but it's been several days, and I'm starting to deal with it a little better.

However, I'm not letting Miguel know that he finally accomplished his mission. Absolutely not. If he finds out that he broke us up, then he'll pull the same crap whenever I start dating again. At least this time I know what to expect and can effectively warn a future boyfriend of what to expect so I can find someone who doesn't scare so easily, or at least doesn't have as much at stake (Shane has to think of his two kids). So, I'm still letting Miguel think that Shane and I are together. Eventually I'll tell him that we stopped seeing eachother due to reasons completely unrelated to him, but he probably won't believe me anyway.

So that's where things stand now. I actually had a really long conversation with Miguel in the middle of writing this post, but that can be saved for another day. At this point, I really should get to bed.