More nonsense, past and present actions of Miguel

Several weeks ago, I made a vow never to talk to Miguel verbally again. Now, I've made this promise before, but Miguel always manages to finagle his way back into conversing. After talking with my mother and her helping me to notice the trend (that is, him being an ass, me telling him I'm not talking to him anymore, then he's nice for several weeks and gets me to talk to him again, and then he starts crap, and then I tell him I'm not going to talk to him, etc.), I decided that this time I'm sticking to my guns. I informed him of this decision several weeks ago in this e-mail:

"I will not be answering your calls. Ever. End of story. If the girls are around, I'll let them answer and talk to you. However, every time we talk, we both get all worked up and it doesn't do either one of us any good. So don't bother calling when the girls are asleep or when I'm at work. I'm serious this time.

-Kelsey"


And for a couple of weeks, he actually somewhat respected that. For two weeks, my phone wasn't ringing off the hook from fake Miguel "emergencies." My voice mail box didn't get full of crappy messages from him. And he didn't make any threats. Yet, knowing how he cycles, I knew it would be just a matter of time before he tried starting crap again. And indeed, while I was talking about this very thing with my counselors yesterday, he was calling me up (my phone was in the car, so I didn't know it at the time). "Kelsey, I really need to talk to you." "Kelsey, call me back." I got the messages about an hour after I got home. Then the following text conversation occurred:

Me: I just got your messages. I'm not going to call or answer if you call. What do you need?

Miguel: Talk 2 u

Me: Well, it's not going to happen. I've already told you that.

Miguel: Why. your boy wont let u?

Me: This is exactly why I won't talk to you. And now that you've chosen to start that shit, I'm done communicating with you for the evening. Goodnight.

So then he started calling. Called at least 3 times in a row. Left another message. Called again, and left this message, "Look kels, I really do need to talk to you. i'm serious. I need to talk to you. This fucker's not letting you talk to me. well, i guess you just better enjoy what little time you have left with him."

So, since I'd already told him that I was done talking to him, I didn't reply to his threat. I'm trying to consistent and firm with him until he grows up. Now this threat is different from the others. It sounds as though it's directed towards me. He has made many threats previously. He's said he's going to use a small caliber weapon to shoot Shane in the testicles. He's made a lot of vague threats about killing Shane, shooting this guy named Mike, beating the shit out of another guy named David. The problem is, he's made all these threats when talking to me, and since he's talking to me and making threats towards other people, the police really won't do anything about it. But this most recent threat-- I think they'll finally listen to this one. Way to shoot yourself in the foot, Miguel.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure he says these things to get to me. I don't think there's any truth to them. But since I'm not 100% sure about that, I'm trying to document everything and inform the police of everything he's threatened. That way, if he ever does randomly show up, the cops shouldn't think twice about taking him away.

I also think that when he gets nasty like that, it's because he's drunk. The last time I talked to him on the phone, he was sober, and he admitted that every time he's harassed me and called me names, it's been when he's drinking. So I'm just going to assume that he was drunk last night and trying everything he could think of to get me to talk to him.

I sent him the following e-mail this morning:

I hope you're sober now. I'm not sure how many times I have to tell you how serious I am this time about not speaking with you. And I'm not telling you again: this was, and still is, MY decision. I have noticed a drastic improvement in my life and my overall well-being since I stopped verbally communicating with you. You bring me down. There is no need for us to speak on the phone. If you've got something to tell me, send me an e-mail. And if you REALLY need to speak with me, you need to tell me WHY. I'm not going to talk to you just because you "need to." I need a specific reason and it needs to be legitimate. Otherwise, you can just forget about it.


And as far as my personal life is concerned, you can go ahead and keep making all the assumptions you want. I no longer have to explain myself to you. We are divorced, and it is none of your business. And that is my stance from now on. If you want to assume that I'm not talking to you because I'm out on a hot date, that's fine with me. In all reality, I'm probably just doing laundry and don't want to talk to you. But whether I'm doing laundry, reading with the girls, or out with friends, my stance is always going to be the same: we are divorced, and it's none of your business. I'm not going to put up with you bullying me and trying to scare me to get your way. I would highly suggest that you get your act together. I take all of your threats and harassing messages to the police, and it's getting to be quite a large file. If you keep it up, I'll be taking that file to the judge.


I appreciate the fact that you quit last night after only about 5 calls and didn't completely fill up my voicemail again. However, what I don't appreciate is how you still do not respect me. I've told you over and over that I do not wish to speak with you, and yet you keep trying. I hope you notice this cycle as well. You've been on good behavior for about two weeks, so I knew it was only a matter of time before you started to harass and threaten me again. And sure enough. Miguel, this happens every month. You are civil and decent for 2-3 weeks, and then you turn. I don't know what to make of it, but I hope you're aware of the cycle.


Ok, if you still need to talk to me about whatever it was you wanted last night, simply send me a reply. If you think it's something that can't be discussed via e-mail, then tell me WHAT it is (via e-mail).


-Kelsey

I never did write about everything that's been happening since December. I think because it's too much to write. I'll try to sum it up right now. Miguel wrote "WHORE" all over the house in permanent marker. Then he apologized for it. I painted over it. Then he did it again. He's posted my private journal entries in his public blog. He's called me a slut, whore, and ho on numerous occasions. He says that he sees demons. He told me that he'll "beat the shit" out of any man that I date from now until the girls turn 18. He came down to "visit the girls" earlier this spring. I asked him to find another place to stay and specifically to keep his hands off me. I told him this was his chance to show me how much he's changed and prove to me that he can respect me. He didn't find anywhere else to stay. He spent the first two days putting his hands all over me and trying to get me to have sex with him. He also started drinking and hacking into my e-mail and stalking men that I had sent e-mails to. Then he tried to blame his behavior on the fact that I was wearing a tank top. At the end of his visit, I informed him that he had completely blown his chance and there was NO chance of us ever getting back together. Now he blames that all on Shane. Apparently he thinks that the only reason I don't want to be with him is because I'm with Shane and if he gets rid of Shane, then maybe he'll have a chance with me. However, considering his behavior since December, there is NO FREAKING WAY. And you know what? He'll probably eventually succeed in splitting up Shane and I for good, but it's not going to do him any good. I'm never taking him back, and the more he does this crap, the more I realize that leaving him was the BEST decision I've ever made. He also called my work obsessively and tried to get me fired. He harassed Shane enough that he had to change his number. And how did he get Shane's number? By telling me that he needed the password to the phone account to get a new phone and promising that he wouldn't use it to look at my phone records and threatening that if I didn't give him the password, he'd leave his job and come back to Texas. Within 5 minutes after giving him the password, he started calling Shane's phone. But he didn't know Shane's name or anything else. So what did he do? He hopped in his truck and drove from Florida to Texas specifically to break into the house and search for information about him. And he found enough. And I just recently discoverd that he paid for a membership to one of those reverse phone lookup sites. Can we say obsessive??? It's just so irritating. He's trying to blame everyone else for his mistakes. Shane's not the one who sat around smoking pot all damn day and ignored my warnings. I just wish he would take some freaking responsibility and stop trying to take out his frustrations on everyone else.

Well, this has gone on pretty long. It's not even near complete. But I think I'l leave it at this. I don't care to revisit anything concerning Miguel and the past 6 months. I've had enough.